The Bull's Family Jewels

“You can always learn something new,” as the saying goes. Well, I made the mistake this morning in Googling “are frogs dissected in schools.”

I’ve always wondered why kids in school have to be subjected to cutting open random dead things floating in formaldehyde. I also wanted to find out if kids were still cutting into dead animals in the pursuit of knowledge.

What came up in my search was not a recipe for sauteed frog’s legs in butter sauce but this from the online Encyclopedia Brittanica:

About 75-80% of North American students will have dissected an animal by the time they graduate high school. An estimated 6 million – 12 million animals are dissected in American schools each year.

While frogs are the most common animals for K-12 students to dissect, students also encounter fetal pigs, cats, rabbits, guinea pigs, rats, minks, birds, turtles, snakes, crayfish, perch, sea stars and earthworms as well as grasshoppers and other insects. Sometimes students dissect parts of animals, such as sheep, lungs, cow eyes and bull testicles.

Dissecting an animal offers education in fine motor skills, hand-eye coordination, and handling sharp objects carefully.*

I for one, as a sentient human being on planet earth who eats plenty of fiber and observes all traffic lights, have no interest, nay zero, in subjecting my imaginary high school kid to learning about the inner workings of a random gonad from some farm animal named “Bull.”

Call me old fashioned, but I say, leave the bull’s family jewels alone.

And the frog’s legs. And the sheep lungs. And the rats, minks, birds, turtles and sea stars.

If I were a high school kid confronted with slicing open a fetal pig I’d either puke or just bolt right out of that classroom and never return.

I honestly don’t remember dissecting anything in high school. But then again, I don’t remember much about high school. It was all a hormonal blur. I only remember checking out mentally when I was told to bisect a triangle in geometry class. I was young and still getting over the trauma of long division. I didn’t understand why I needed to cut a perfectly good triangle in half, or thirds or whatever measurement I was told to use. It seemed morally wrong to take a perfectly whole shape and cut it into pieces. Violent, really. There was no reason for it. I was just being told to bisect this triangle because the teacher told me to. And the teacher was probably told by their superior to enforce the curriculum. I’m sure the teacher felt the same way as me, but didn’t want to lose their job if they didn’t force these poor kids into cutting triangles.

Wasn’t there some other way to learn cognitive skills?

As for dissecting fetal pigs, cow eyes or bull’s testicles (or god forbid, peering into the small intestine of a tree frog), I actually don’t remember doing any of that. I’m sure that’s when I cut biology class and went across the street from my high school to the big open field to play frisbee and drink soda and try to pick up on girls. I’m glad I did that. While I don’t support missing out on the fine education our school system here in America provides, I’m glad I didn’t have to cut into some fetal pig’s belly before I even learned how to drive.

I believe knowledge is valuable; as are jelly beans and cinnamon toast and free WIFI; and that’s why we have the internet and phone apps and computers. We can see high definition photos and videos of the inner workings of a bull’s testicle very easily by just typing in “show me the bull’s family jewels.”

If one is feeling especially adventurous, they can instruct their phone to show them a beautiful high-resolution photo of a sheep’s lung. Or a frog’s liver. Or a rat’s spleen.

Why anyone, especially a high school student more concerned with their hair, would care to know what a frog’s liver looks like is beyond my comprehension. And pay grade.

As for teaching students “fine motor skills, hand-eye coordination and how to handle sharp objects carefully” there are now an infinite number of ways to learn these skills without subjecting students to cutting open a random frog named “Jimmy” or slicing into a cow eye peering up from the lab table saying, “Why me?”

How about a high school fencing class? Or watching old Bruce Lee movies?

Just getting out of bed in the morning and brushing one’s teeth before shuffling off to school without being late for first period requires fine motor skills and hand-eye coordination. As for “handling sharp objects carefully” I’m sure high school kids already know how to do that if they’ve cut into any steak or tofu for dinner.

As for the poor fetal pigs, don’t worry, the article goes on to say:

“Fetal pigs are byproducts of the meat industry that would have otherwise been sent to a landfill.”

That’s a relief. Anyone who took “Landfill 101” in high school knows landfills are for plastic bags, water bottles and last year’s cellphones.

https://www.britannica.com/procon/animal-dissection-debate